


Unspoken

by IAmFeathers



Category: Casualty (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Light Angst, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-09
Updated: 2016-01-09
Packaged: 2018-05-12 19:11:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5677324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IAmFeathers/pseuds/IAmFeathers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All Ethan wanted was to protect his brother, but he didn't plan to lose himself along the way.<br/>After suspecting that Cal was hiding something from him, Ethan gradually becomes more panicked and starts taking his breaks alone. What happens when Jack Diamond's break is re-scheduled? Will he help Ethan, or will he leave him to suffer in silence, just like so many people have done before?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unspoken

‘Kiss me Hardy’

The day he said those words seemed so far away now. After the trouble surrounding Matilda and Cal, each day appeared to be prolonged in a cacophony of hustle and rush. It all went so quickly and yet there was so much of the opposite that I could hardly want to become anything other than speed and timely convenience. I knew that Cal was hiding something from me- I didn't know what- and it terrified me. Although me and Cal had never really gotten along, we rarely kept much from each other which was of a sizeable concern. There was no way I could be sure, but the way Cal was acting... it told me that it would affect the both of us.

This is why I wished time would pass quickly. I just wanted things to be back to normal. I just wanted Cal to be my brother once more. Cal openly showed his feelings of discontent; however, I couldn't be so free. One of us had to stay strong in order to help and comfort the other- that had to be me. Cal was too distraught about what had happened to Matilda, as well as what he was hiding, to be the support. As I had yet to find out what he was hiding, I had no choice but to be strong.

I've always been seen as the weaker brother. In school, Cal was always the one to be popular, good at sports and confident; whereas, I was awkward, trying, bullied and rather lonely: not many people wanted to be friends with a pushover. However as weak as people see me, I have to try and become strong for Caleb. It breaks my heart to see him in pain. It breaks my heart that I've lost that person to talk to about my feelings. No one else will listen... except perhaps Jack.

I was currently on my break in the staff room, reading a history novel. Reading the words slowly put me into a mindless state and I drifted. I drifted into my thoughts I’d been concealing. In an ideal world, I wanted to shout and scream; in reality I stood back, too weak to speak out to my own brother, my friends and the other people I loved.

“Doctor Hardy,” I heard. Immediately I snapped out of my train of thought and looked up to the male who was speaking to me. “Thought we’d lost you.” He spoke, “You were in a dream-like state.”

“Sorry,” I stated, rather panicked. My face flushed a shade of red. Other than myself, I believed the staff room to be empty. Usually it was only me who had a break at a time like this. I specifically chose this time in order to gain some peace from the ruckus outside in resus and the ward. However, it wasn't the panic or surprise which caught me off guard, but rather the person who spoke.

“Jack, please,” I said, “call me Ethan.”

Jack Diamond. His name rolled off my tongue as if it was meant to be spoken by me. I’d only known him a few weeks and had never really had a lengthy conversation with him; only given brief statements, offered him books to read and observed him day in, day out. It wasn't that I was watching him, just that my gaze always seemed to be diverted towards him, and if he was speaking, I felt more inclined to listen to his opinion more than anyone else’s. I had no idea what was happening to me.

“Well, okay then” He smiled, preparing himself a cup of tea, “Ethan Hardy.”

I returned the smile to him warmly. As he looked away, it faltered, this was completely out of character for me. I'm normally too awkward to smile at people or the like- I try, but it always comes out as a disgruntled gesture and I back away, red-faced. What was it I felt towards Jack?

“So tell me, Ethan,” He spoke, putting emphasis on my name, “why does a man who loves reading alone then sit in the staff room on his break in the quiet, but in fact be gazing into space with his book taking refuge on the floor?”

I looked towards my feet finding that Jack was correct, I’d dropped my book on the floor during my thoughts. Embarrassed, I picked it up and placed it on the table. I didn't want to say that I liked Jack in a romantic way. I’d never been with a guy before. I've been with girls and dated a few people, but they’d never gone well, or ended for some reason or another. Like with Honey. She said that me and her were just too different and that’s why it ended. I wasn't interesting enough and another failed relationship was added into the mix. Caleb had always been the one who was good with relationships.

“I was... thinking” I replied, still slightly embarrassed by the fact that Jack saw me in such a way- dead to the world and just ‘out of it’. Could he possibly like me back? I remember when I first talked to him, he said: ‘kiss me Hardy’, of course it was only a reference from my last name, but I couldn't help but feel and want it to be... more.

“It’s never a good sign to think about too much,” Jack said, “We have a tendency to over think things and start believing things which aren't true.”

“Yes, well” I chuckled lightly, “I do over think things an awful lot,” Was that just me over thinking it? Maybe Jack’s statement was meant as nothing but a playful joke? I decided to change the subject before I gave anything away or said something out of line. “Why are you in here? Has your break changed or...” I left the sentence to finish itself.

“Why, Ethan, you offend me! Don’t you want me here?” He said this in a joking manner, chuckling lightly and giving out that perfect smile of his. “Noel changed his break so I needed to change mine in order to keep the desk attended at all times, and it seems that fate has brought us together.”

I blushed. The tips of my ears were burning. My only hope was that the red dusting my cheeks wasn't overly visible. I took a sharp intake of air as embarrassment, once again, took over. I had no idea what to say or do in these situations, and I feared that any utterance I made would be vain and make my situation worse.

“Anyway,” Jack laughed- presumably at the hopeless look on my face and bewilderment over what to say. He took a seat beside me and his expression turned to one of seriousness. “Is there a problem?”

I was taken aback, how could Jack know that there was a problem? I hesitated over what to say. I trusted him, but was that enough to give him the burden of my issues? I was in no mind to trouble him with such things- we both had a job to do-and I had no intention of swaying his attention from his daily life. We weren't even good friends so I had no reason to tell him of all people. Then again... I did love him...

“H-how did you know that there was a problem?” I stuttered, dumbfounded. How did he know me so well already? Not only that, but my mind was in a state of shock at the silent confession at which I’d just made to myself. I was in love with Jack Diamond. I- Ethan Hardy- was in love with the new member of staff. I didn't see that coming.

Jack placed his hand atop of mine as a comforting gesture which caused me to go an even darker shade of red. My breathing heightened at this contact. I’d never been in love before- much less with another man. Of course I had my fantasies and crushes, but never actually been in love.

“Ethan, I know you well enough to see when you’re upset” He muttered. And with that comment, the emotions I held within just flooded free. A tear slipped down my cheek, which was closely followed by another.

“It’s too bad that my brother can’t see as you do.” I whispered. With that I started crying lightly. I wasn't even embarrassed. Normally, I would cower in a corner for fear that people would see me in my moment of weakness; now I didn't even care. Jack slowly put his arms around me. It wasn't invading or threatening, it gave a sense of security and warmth of which I’d never received from anyone- not even Cal. It was almost... reassurance.

“Just tell me what’s wrong,” He spoke, his arms still wrapped around me. Then I began to speak. No matter what I said, or how many tears I shed, Jack still listened and gave little gestures to prove to me that he was- a short hum of understanding, or a ‘yes’ of approval or sympathy. He was a good listener. I told him about Caleb and Matilda and how I suspected that something was being hidden from me. How I tried to be the strong brother, and just couldn't do it any more.

“I just want him to see that I can’t...” I whimpered. No more words needed to be said. My book still lay abandoned on the table in front of me of me along with my glasses which proved to be impossible to see out of once splashed with tears. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to bother I-“

“Ethan, it’s okay,” Jack interrupted. “You don’t need to apologise for anything,”

It was in that moment I realised how close we were. I was nestled in Jack’s arms comfortably. I felt heat radiate off of him and watched his chest move up and down slowly as his breath hit my face. His breathing was even and steady. It wasn’t until I looked into his eyes that I realised how much he cared. People say that the eyes are the mirrors to the soul- in this moment, they couldn’t be more correct. His eyes showed nought but ceaseless concern, caring, and... love?

“Jack...” I whispered. His gaze softened as he looked fondly upon my face, I studied his features- strong jaw line, flawless skin, bewitching eyes, and soft lips... how I wanted to press my lips to his. How I wanted to run my fingers through his hair. How I wanted to be the reason for his happiness...

In a moment of confidence, I lifted a hand to his cheek and ran my thumb across his skin. He leaned into my touch and closed his eyes briefly. “Thank you,” I whispered, enjoying this moment of bliss. For once, I let my actions control themselves and followed my instincts instead of mentally scripting every movement I make.

“You don’t have to thank me,” Jack said, and leaned down towards me until our lips met. It all seemed so sudden; I didn't know what to do. The only thing which seemed remotely logical was to kiss back... so kiss back I did. I melted into it, his lips moving against mine in perfect sync. There was only me and him. Nothing else mattered. The troubles involving Caleb and Matilda were all but banished from my mind. Jack was my only focus. The soft lips against mine were my priority, my reason. All for Jack.

His arms snaked around my waist gently, bringing me closer than I had been before as I felt him sigh happily and lean further into the kiss. I followed his actions and pulled him slightly closer by wrapping my arms around his neck and sighing in content. I absent-mindedly ran my fingers through the hairs on the back of his head and just relaxed. It wasn't intimate, just loving; a gesture of him showing me that I wasn't alone- that he would stand beside me.

All too soon, we pulled away, breathing heavily to substitute for the lack of air. I was particularly shocked and astonished- my nature is to be awkward and reserved towards everyone, not... whatever this was.

I hesitated before interrupting the silence and speaking, “I- I think I love you.” I told him. At first I stiffened up, expecting to be rejected. I soon found that this was needless as Jack slightly pulled me closer and gave a feather-light kiss to my temple.

“I think I might feel the same way,” He said. I leaned back and cautiously rested my head on his shoulder whilst thanking the sake of goodness that he felt the way he did. But were we a couple now? If we both liked each other, it seemed that it would be the logical thing to be- make it ‘official’. Then again, that meant telling people. It wasn't that I didn't want them to know, it was just my brother. How could I tell him? When he says that I need to find a partner, I'm pretty sure he means a girl. He won’t be expecting this.

“Jack,” I whispered, grabbing my glasses from the chair next to me and putting them on before looking up at the taller man.

He hummed in response, eyes locking with mine.

I spoke, barely audible, “Are we a couple now or...W-what are we going to tell people.” I said, “I mean-” I sighed, looking at him pleadingly and grasping for any word I could which would fit my meaning. In the end, I decided that only one word had to be used: “Caleb...”

“What do you want to be?” Jack said, to which I shrugged as a response. I honestly had no idea what was what in relationships- enough of mine had failed to keep me unconfident for the rest of my days. He gave a look of thought. “I propose that we go out occasionally and see how it feels from there- I don’t want to overwhelm you...” He trailed off, knowing that I wasn't good at expressing emotions.

I nodded, thankful that he was willing to take things slowly on my behalf. “Jack,” I said.

He looked at me, urging me gently to go on.

“Thank you,” I whispered, and slowly brought my lips to his once more, knowing my troubles never again needed to be unspoken.

............

Doctor Caleb Knight was walking through the halls of Holby City emergency ward, looking for his younger brother. ‘It’s strange’ he thought, Ethan had finished his break fifteen minutes ago, ‘He’s never late’.

“Charlie,” he called, seeing the older man walking down the hall, if anyone knew where Ethan was, it would be Charlie. Once he gained his attention Cal continued: “Have you seen Ethan anywhere? He finished his break a while back and I haven’t seen him.”

“He’s probably still in the staffroom,” Charlie said, “I'm going there now, so if I see him, I’ll tell you,” He finished, walking in the general direction of the staff’s break room.

“I need to see him, so I’ll follow you in.” Cal said.

Before opening the door, Charlie stopped and backed away. Cal didn't have the chance to speak before Charlie spoke: “I think I’ll leave my cup of tea for later,” and walked away awkwardly patting Cal on the shoulder as he left. Curiosity took the better of Cal and he stepped to the door and looked inside via the window and let out a small yelp of shock at what he saw and briskly walked away.

His awkward, socially inept, innocent, little brother- Ethan Hardy- passionately kissing Jack Diamond- the new guy from behind the front desk...

He’d have to ask him about that later.


End file.
